Sunday, November 12, 2006

Am I still liking her......?

It has been quite a while after I wrote

Is it just a liking......?


And many things have occured.... many equations have changed....

But it looks like I am still thinking about her, still likes her and long for her... Though I tried many a times to forget about her, I can't....And I don't think I will ever...at least till we are here in the same place.....Everyday b4 sleep, I always think something about her which started with how to forget her and my mind says I shud forget...But my heart doesn't oblige n instead I end up thinking more about her.....

What I have noticed recently is that I always get 2 know when she is around even if I don't see her....Though it may look bit odd, I always get a signal when she enters in a surrounding area of radius around 15/20 mts radius! This is quite surprising.... I really don't know....

One fine morning I resolved, as I had done many times before, that I should put my feelings resolutely in front of her. My likings should not live in my thoughts, like a solemn coward; that it should no longer lie buried deep in my heart. And that I should not tremble to hold her hands. Yet when I encounter those lovely dark eyes, words dropped from my mouth like a confused child....

After that I even started drafting this letter thinking that I will at least mail her!

Dear ....,

Well …. I don’t know how to start, where to start. I think it’s important to make you aware of the feelings and thoughts that has been creeping in my mind for long....It must have been almost some time that we know each other. Yet we hardly talk to each other, except for the occasional hi and acknowledgement of each other’s presence.

Diffidence is one thing I cannot get rid off. The deep feeling I have for you itself makes things harder for me. The secret admiration I have for you remains ignored as I could not boost enough courage to say that I admire you. You have really fascinated me....

Though I have been always wondering why people say "falling in love", not "raising in love", you have rekindled me the hope of "raising with your love".....Though I would love to stand in front of you, look into your eyes and say ‘I Love You, I know I will goof up n won't be able to express to you properly, at a glance from yours'... So, today, I am letting these words do the talking on behalf of my heart...

Yours Forever,


------

It was around 1 am that I finished drafting this mail and saved in postponed mail! I didn't know when I slept but got up so early at 6.30 am! After freshening up, I was getting ready to come to Insti! Today is the day, and “I should mail her for sure”, I told myself. After breakfast, I saw her walking towards the Insti in her usual style but a slight shyness robbed over her face as she passed me.... She said "Hi" .... I looked straight into her eyes and then suddenly turned the other way just to hide my stare. I replied "Hi"....

to be contd....

9 comments:

Vivek said...

So Shanta! Can the canteen fit into a disc of radius 20/25(~ .8mts) ? [:)]

anupam said...

great Shanta! well done?

Dr Shanta Laishram said...

@Vivek

anything can fit in...:-)

@Anupam

well...:-)

George S. said...

I am very much wary of such stories and their endings.

Once I met a very interesting economist, we got along really well - electrifyingly well; and she told me her story; and I told her my own enchanting story, to which she responded enthusiastically and appreciated my position much saying that her husband is also a mathematician.

After which incident I am always a bit wary about enthusiastic responses.

Anonymous said...

awesome!!! such ardour!

take some concrete action, like posting the letter, and keep us posted as to what happens next.

Anonymous said...

Are you trying to apply the pigeon hole principle here?

Dr Shanta Laishram said...

that would be definitely interesting:-)

IG said...

Hi shanta,
what is your email?!! I need to write something to you...so pass on your email id to igilangovan@gmail.com

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